Holy crap.

I honestly didn't think that I'd make it past the first blog. I'm too damn busy to pee on a regular basis (which thankfully coincides with my lack of fluid intake lately) let alone write stuff other than checks to pay bills. p.s. I hate companies that don't allow you to pay your bill online. But I digress.

I was just thinking on the way to work about my kids. "Kids." To be honest, I never saw myself having one child. And now I have two. I'm 100% sure that it's a direct result of finding a man who I could look at and think "Wow. He's is soooooo hot..." No, no, no...what I meant to say was "Wow, he'd be a great father."
I was also thinking that more than once a day I think to myself, I still feel like a kid. I like freezies, Looney Toons, and hate doing chores. So then I wonder if I really am the best mother I can be. I'm sure that at some point every mother feels like that. Or at least I hope. I already know that I'm screwed with two DAUGHTERS. I was watching "Real Housewives" the other day (shut up) and one of the broads has two teenagers. I wanted to reach through that t.v. and give them one bad ass spanking. Yep- Brad and I are in trouble. Because even if our kids are more well behaved then two orange county spoiled brats- they are still girls and they still have mood swings. Trust me, I know from experience.

I was also wondering what they will be like when they grow up. What will they look like, what job will they have? I'm hoping that they will look back and think "Even though my Mom once threatened to sell me on Craig's List...I know she loves me." or "Even though my Mom threatened to sell me to the nice Vietnamese farmer at the farmer's market, I know she cares." (Hey- I gotta get some of my money back.)

My oldest says some damn funny things though, so maybe she will be a famous comedian.

Well, gotta go. There is a sandwich calling my name. I like to eat.

-lindseyian

...giving it a go....

Here I am. I never thought I'd have a blog. Hell, there was a time that I didn't even know the meaning of "blog." I also rebelled against Fbook and Twitter and now I have both. Come to think of it, I also vowed to never have kids or own an Iphone and look at me. I guess I'm really a walking, talking version of never say never.

So, why start a blog now? Well, I recently realized that I always feel better after I vent. (My wonderful sister Katie is usually my vent buddy, but that amount of profanity can't be good for her ears.) Unfortunately, I don't vent enough. I generally can bottle it up, and forget about it an hour later but I hear that's unhealthy. I always thought that there was no way that I'd have enough deep and meaningful mental conversations to have enough blog material. And while it's true that more often then not, I'm thinking about what bill I need to mail, what food sounds good to me, or which of my lovely kids crapped themselves- it turns out that I do, in fact, think of some interesting topics. So I will blog them out and if people read them and can relate- then cool! If people read them, think I'm a bimbo and then resort to hatred- that's cool too.

My plan is to write about anything. Diapers, bacon, my loving husband, my line of work and my fledgling jewelery business that has yet to take off. Oh yeah, and I'm going back to college for a math class here or there and those blog topics will make you laugh your face off and keep you on the edge of your seat, I'm sure. Whatever, read them. Or don't. But this is my new method of free therapy...ahhhh, I'm feelin better already.

-lindseyian